Another R&D Success?

I've just been handed a memo that states the R&D Department will begin experimenting with the gravity field resequencer sometime last summer.

These rails appear to have divorced the roadbed.

Their experiments have resulted in some sort of gravity resistant rail head.

"In hindsight, we probably should have set the floaty ones aside from the regular ones. Or maybe marked them or something, I don't know. Too late now," Dan Bob stated in an internal memo. 

It goes without saying that levitating railroad tracks could pose potentially problematic for future operations. We dispatched the best and brightest of the track gang to solve the potential problem.

Crews find themselves at a loss for words. Or actions.

BCRR crews tried everything they could think of to bring the rails back to Earth, including but not limited to, standing, jumping, yelling, sitting, marriage counseling, fatherly advice, bribery, thinly veiled threats, and general tomfoolery, all to no effect.

Ride 'em, cowboy!

After days or possibly hours of trying, crews were ready to give up.

Testing the tourist attraction potential.

Time to call in the heavy artillery! This time we needed the expertise of Larry, Daryl, Darrel of Larry, Daryl, and Darrel's Gravitic Field Resequencing! They arrived in their newly acquired hi-rail truck in short order, and assessed the scene.

"How did you pull this off?!"

While we would normally stay and document the entire repair process with hundreds of still photos, video clips, interviews, interactive video schematics, and other such quality reporting techniques, but the equipment used to realign the universe would interfere with any and all recording equipment. That, and we were hungry for all you could eat flapjacks at the diner. We're gonna go ahead and assume everything is going good at the jobsite.

More as it develops.

A Look At: The BCCEC

It's been quite a while since we've updated anything, and let me assure you that since the accident, we've been busy getting absolutely no work done around here. Around town, however, things have been happening just fine without our meddling. This seems like a prime time to start a new series of articles called "A Look At." These articles will take a closer look at local businesses. Take, for example, the Beecher City Cultural Enrichment Center!

Behold! The fabled Beecher City Cultural Enrichment Center, in all its glory!

The Beecher City Cultural Enrichment Center, not to be confused with the Aperture Science Enrichment Center, first opened its doors in February 2013. The unusual structure was specially designed to maximize internal capacity while minimizing external dimensions. The mission statement of the Cultural Enrichment Center is "To bring color to people's lives," and they have developed quite the process for doing such. We sat down for some Q&A with Peter Peterson, Administrator of the BCCEC.

PP: "When people come here, it's because they've been leading drab, bland, boring existences, devoid of anything worth noting. We change that."

A fresh batch of patients, newly admitted to the BCCEC.

PP: "The first thing we do is categorize our patients. We've found that most people will fall into one of a handful of categories. Blue collar, business class, outdoorsy, there's a few more, but not many"

BCRR: "Isn't that stereotyping?"

PP: "We prefer the term categorizing."

BCRR: "Ok. Moving on."

Patients getting their first infusion.

PP: "After categorization, patients are then custom fitted with a color palette. Layer by layer, the color is added."

BCRR: "What happens if someone doesn't like the colors selected for them?"

PP: "We have ways of... dealing with that."

The BCCEC courtyard during activity time.

PP: "Our patients generally stay less than a month. In that month, they have access to our courtyard, complete with color pools."

BCRR: "Color pools?"

PP: "Yes. Color pools. Pools with color."

BCRR: "Lots of color."

PP: "It's kind of our thing."

BCRR: "Fair enough."

A group prepares for release.

PP: "After treatment, patients are then prepared to return to their regular lives. The pre-discharge preparation process includes decorating classes, wardrobe lectures, and electroshock therapy."

BCRR: "Shock treatment?"

PP: "Electroshock therapy, yes."

BCRR: "What's the purpose of that?"

PP: "I can't discuss that."

BCRR: "Are you sure that's necessary?"

PP: "We don't tell you how to lay track."

BCRR: "Touche."

PP: "I think we're done here."

I don't think we're going to be invited back. That's all for today, folks. We hope you've enjoyed our inaugural episode of A Look At, and welcome your (positive) feedback. Join us next time as we take a closer look at Another Place, coming Someday to an internet near you!