Thursday, January 10, 2013

Happenings

Well, there's been a lot going around here lately. The roadbed is nearly complete, and we are gearing up to bring in a whole lot of dirt. After the dirt is put in place, we will begin the long and arduously exciting job of laying track. A recent grant has infused us with just enough money to make things move. We're still a long way from being profitable, but it's a start!

It's not all fun and games here, though. The fine folks at the Immigration and Naturalization Service recently raided our shop. As it turns out, the Chucky doll that had recently been promoted to the shop foreman position was actually made in Taiwan and lacked the proper paperwork to be gainfully employed in the United States. He has subsequently been deported, and the BCRR was forced to pay $1.37 in fines. 

Hayato the ninja mouse was terminated after he was caught pilfering peanut butter from various mousetraps on the property. Management has demanded that he vacate the property immediately, however, no one can find him.

With the recent personnel changes, Christoph, VP of Human resources, has asked me to pass on the following press release:

"NOW HIRING! THE BEECHER CITY RAILROAD HAS IMMEDIATE OPENINGS FOR THE FOLLOWING POSITIONS:

IN-HOUSE NINJA
THIS POSITION REQUIRES THAT THE APPLICANT BE FULLY TRAINED AND EXPERIENCED. JOB REQUIREMENTS INCLUDE DISAPPEARING AT THE SLIGHTEST HINT OF WORK, LEAVING OBSCURE MESSAGES IN RANDOM PLACES, AND ACTING GENERALLY WEIRD EVEN WHEN NO ONE IS LOOKING.

MANIACAL SHOP FOREMAN
THIS POSITION REQUIRES THAT THE APPLICANT HAVE A PHD IN SOMETHING NO ONE HAS HEARD OF. PASSING KNOWLEDGE OF RAILROADS A PLUS. STOCK OF MINIONS/HENCHMEN PREFERRED BUT NOT REQUIRED. JOB REQUIREMENTS INCLUDE COMING UP WITH AND FAILING TO EXECUTE RIDICULOUS "EVIL" PLOTS, YELLING INCOHERENTLY AT UNDERPAID MINIONS, AND MANIC GIGGLING. LOTS OF GIGGLING.

CAPS LOCK REPAIR PERSON
EXPERIENCE REQUIRED

ALL JOB POSITIONS INCLUDE A FREE HAM SANDWICH* UPON HIRING! 

*WHILE SUPPLIES LAST"

More as it develops.

Monday, October 29, 2012

Mysterious happenings.

Passersby have noticed strange lights and noises coming from the BCRR workshop as of late. They have described it as "clanging, banging, some sort of flopping, and manic giggling. Lots of giggling."

Security footage (attached below) shows no one coming or going from the workshop since the shutdown was announced.

What sort of strange and wonderful things could be going on in there?

More as it develops.


Monday, August 20, 2012

What the?!

Testing Blogger mobile app for Android, as the website is unusable on a phone.

Just wanted to say this:

When did we get so much roadbed laid?!


Monday, July 16, 2012

Press Release 7-19-12

It's been a while since you've seen any updates from the BCRR. For that, we apologize. Life has been extremely busy for everyone involved, and the new changes Google has made to the Blogger interface make it pretty much impossible to draft new posts from a mobile device. Now, I know that there's an app for that, but it is possibly the WORST RATED GOOGLE APP OUT THERE. As such, I am leery of even downloading it.

Nevertheless, life has been going on as normal (more accurately, as our approximation of "normal") in the BCRR HQ. Little work has been accomplished due to the massive amounts of schedule conflicts. Crews have been building up the roadbed and doing right-of-way work, but it's slow going. Basically, we lay 261 (scale) feet of roadbed, then have to tamp and compress (put blocks and weights on it) for several hours before moving on to the next section. As I said, it's slow going, but at least it's going.

Supply and Acquisitions recently secured another stock of Loctite PL300 Foamboard Adhesive, a critical ingredient in the laying of roadbed. S&A also located a new soldering gun of the proper size and wattage for an incredible price. They did not, however, purchase one.

We have also managed to acquire some paint. Now, that may not sound very exciting, but when you think about it, and I mean REALLY think about it, it isn't. As soon as all the roadbed is lain, or laid, or whatever, we will use this Pittsburgh Paints Hatbox Brown Ultra Interior Flat Latex to cover the stark white extruded polystyrene beadboard that is our local terrain. What that boils down to, kids, is that if we should happen to have an area of ground that is missed by whatever terraforming operation is performed on it, it should appear to be dirt, instead of freakishly white styrofoam.

In seemingly unrelated news, while Chris S., V.P. of Construction, hasn't been present on the job site, he has been very busy scoring a 97% on his Fire Academy Firefighter 2 Module A exam. As such, he is academically at the top of his class. Yay.

Every silver lining has a cloud. This influx and possible overload of BCRR news comes at a price. What follows is a transcript of a press release televised earlier today by the Big Cheese himself, Chris Sipe.

"Hello, everyone, thank you for coming, please have a seat. As President and CEO of Beecher City's largest and most successful railroad, sometimes I get to sit back, relax, and simply enjoy watching all the gears turn and hearing the whistles blow. Other times, I have to step up, put on my big boy pants, and make the hard decisions. Unfortunately, this is one of those times.

"As you all know, we have been under serious financial burdens lately. Most of us have found ways to tighten the belt and cut costs, and for that I thank you, but it simply isn't enough. I'm afraid the most recent blow may have been the proverbial nail in the proverbial coffin. Replacing the refrigerator in the break room tapped us out. It's sad to say, but we can't even afford to keep Robot Management Unit K8-e plugged in anymore. I guess it's just as well. We really don't need her to tell us we're broke right now.

"Before I go on, I want each and every one of my employees to know that I care deeply for them and their families, and this decision was not at all easy. It was your hard work and sacrifice that has gotten to where we are today, and that sacrifice will not be forgotten. That being said, I'm afraid I'm left with no choice but to shut down bigger part of the BCRR and lay most of you off.

"My advisers, who will also be laid off, suggested that I announce exactly which departments will be shut down. After reviewing the lists, I've decided that it will be much faster and easier to announce which departments will continue operation. The following departments will report to work tomorrow as scheduled. If your department is not on this list, unfortunately, you will not be employed at the conclusion of this meeting. For what little consolation it is, I intend to recall certain departments as needs require and finances allow. So, without further gilding of the lily and with no more adieu, I give you the list of departments still operating tomorrow:

Track gang

"The VPs of each department will stay on staff to run their individual departments. All correspondence for the Construction Department should be directed to Chris S. Human Resource needs go to Christoph. R&D needs go to C. Dale Sipe. Public Relations is and forever shall be a one-man department, and CD Sipe will continue to manage it.

"Again, thank you for coming. That is all."

More as it develops.

Monday, May 14, 2012

Monday Morning Update

For those of you who might be thinking we haven't gotten anything done on the railroad in quite some time, allow me to clear something up for you:

We haven't.

Due to the mishap surrounding the track planning for the grain co-op spur, our contract with the co-op had to be renegotiated. Under the new terms, BCRR is required to compensate the co-op for lost revenue by providing labor crews for the construction of grain handling equipment. Since we are waiting on supplies, we have elected to employ our track gang at the co-op. They are making excellent progress. Whenever more track supplies arrive, we expect to reassign the track gang and possibly outsource labor on behalf of the BCGC.

More as it develops.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Weekly Update

Here's what happened this weekend on the BCRR this weekend:




























More as it develops.